The MikeNz Story

The MikeNz Story is the story of the ribDonor and I - our how we met story, or in the young kids terms "meet cute."  #BoomerSooner - we met as students of the University of Oklahoma... as of today's posting it's been 22 years since these events, and I can still feel much of the emotion of those days every time I reread the story.  This was originally a series of facebook posts, that I eventually compiled into a facebook note, and since Zuck has made Notes all but inaccessible, I'm now copying over here, with minimal updated formatting.  The biggest change, for those who've read this story before, is that the links to the original posts are embedded in the titles to each section.  As I posted each section of the story there were some fun comments on each, sometimes from Mike, so if you want to follow those, click the links.  I'll also include the link to the original facebook note at the end, again with more fun in the comments.  Ok, here goes!

My fave pic of us

The Beginning: On-campus Bible Study, OU Gospel Choir, Calvary Baptist Church... we were both among a group of 10+ who shared the exact same spiritual schedule in the fall of 2000. But, it was his sister that brought me to his attention over Christmas break: she mentioned that beautiful black girl in Bible Study. He had no clue, for he thought my name was Kineka or something.

Identity: The Spring 2001 semester began with him figuring out who I was: the "heathen" who wore shorts to Bible Study! "Surely she couldn't be saved wearing short shorts to Bible Study!" lol I, on the other hand, noticed the feel of his arm one time as we held hands for the opening prayer for gospel choir rehearsal.

Elections: The Spring 2001 semester continued with UOSA deciding to set some record for online elections. I volunteered to man a computer voting station one Wednesday in Walker lobby. He and a friend were on their way to her church for Bible Study, so he stopped by to chat at the table while she went up to her room to grab her Bible. When she returned, he said "watch this..." "Me and Z getting married!" We both looked at him like he was crazy!

Forgotten: I then told him we couldn't get married because we didn't know each other and hadn't been on a date. So he asked me what I was doing both Friday and Saturday. I told him I was busy both days. We laughed and they went on to Bible Study. BUT then I remembered something: earlier in the school year he had been sitting across from me one evening in the computer lab talking to this girl, saying how girls don't take him serious just because he's always smiling and joking... so I began to wonder if he was REALLY interested in me.

Stompdown: That next weekend brought Stompdown: OU's annual tribute to the Black Greek fraternity and sorority stepping tradition. We happened to meet each other in the line to get in, so we sat together. Just like any other gospel choir going, Bible study going, church going people would: in a casually friendly way.

A Favor: Then there was the choir rehearsal thing. He called me one night asking me to drive him and another guy to choir rehearsal at the church in the city. I was bewildered because I wasn't in the church choir! He was like "I know, but we need a ride, so please?" I ended up driving them. I eventually joined the choir, too, but not that night.

The Dare: After we get back from choir rehearsal, I sat in my car listening to my fantabulous homemade gospel mixtape. The other guy gets out and goes back to his room, but he decided to stay where he was (in the back seat) and listen as well. As I listened, I started playing with my hair... it ended up being an obnoxiously high pony-tail, a la Pebbles Flintstone. He was appalled, but dared me to wear it out. It was late, so I decided that since there wouldn't be many witnesses walking about, we should make one. So we got out and went up to my floor and knocked on a friend's door so she could witness this hair.

A Secret: So we knocked on our friend's door & she took a look at me and laughed. The three of us then went to my room to chill. Random conversation ensued (including him demanding possession of my purple rug and other purple decor), but, as many that age frequently do, the convo turned to relationships. And since we were all trying to live holy, that convo was in terms of marriage. She asked him if he knew who he'd marry. In response, he picked up my folder off my desk (they were both sitting on my bed in my room, mind you), and whispered something to her behind it. I was insulted and intrigued, but too shy to demand that he reveal his answer to me right then. So I started plotting...

Blessed Miracle: *Flashback to bit earlier in March 2001* My cousin had invited me to her church in Midwest City. As I pulled into the gravel parking lot, Fred Hammond's "Let the Praise Begin" was playing, and suddenly the line "Are you ready for your blessing? Are you ready for your miracle?" sat HEAVILY in my heart. I sat in the car crying, telling God, "yes"... God spoke through that song and I responded, having NO clue where He was about to take me.

Planning: Back to my plotting... I was appalled & insulted that he dared say something in MY room, behind MY folder, while sitting on MY bed without sharing it with ME!! So I schemed on how to work up a situation AND the nerve to ask him what he had said. I thought of asking him before or after gospel choir rehearsal, I thought to try after bible study, I thought about just calling him. Finally I worked up a plot and the nerve: I'd go with him to the movies and ask him during the movie. Kingdom Come was coming out by that weekend, so I decided to call him and ask him to go see it with me.

Courage: So I called him and invited him to go to catch an early afternoon showing of Kingdom Come with me. It was Friday, and he told me he and his sister and cousin were supposed to be heading to the city to their aunt's house for the weekend, but he'd be able to go if I could drop him off at her house in OKC afterwards. So I, being determined to finally ask him what he'd whispered in secret (in MY room, behind MY folder, on MY bed, remember), agreed to those terms. He met me outside and we drove on up to the movies at Crossroads Mall.

Jam Session: I chickened out. I didn't ask him while we were in the movies. I was so nervous! After the movie we made the drive up to the city, and pulled up to his aunt's house only to find his sister and cousin were still in Norman! They were watching a movie on TV and he was locked out of the house! So they suggested he see if a family friend who lived around the corner was home. They were, so I was about to drop him off over there, but they invited both of us in, so we stayed and started talking with them. The guy pulled out his keyboards and mics, and next thing you know we were singing and laughing and talking, even after his sister and cousin arrived!

Stolen Bed: After hours of singing, laughing, and talking at the friend's house, the Jones' and Nzinga moved their portion to the Jones residence. We resumed the talking and laughing, Mike cooked, and we played Monopoly and watched TV. Then we realized the late hour, so his sister told me to pull my car into the driveway and him to pull out the sofa bed for me. I did, and he did: then he laid in the sofa bed!!!!

Conversation: So since I couldn't lay down and sleep on this sofa bed that he had commandeered, I sat in the sofa-chair. And we talked. Our first real conversation. Until 3 am or so. We talked about life, God, family, our future plans, dreams, visions... anything we could think of. For example: Easter was the coming Sunday and he mentioned how God had spoken to him to wear green for the past few years on that day. And we laughed, and talked some more.

Shopping: After leaving out early that Saturday morning to be on time for my volunteering with the on-campus Bible study group at a Habitat for Humanity project in Moore, I set out shopping: I'd found some CUTE cream sandals that I wanted to wear for Easter, but I needed a dress. I hit up every store I could looking for a blue or purple dress, but all I could find was green. I was determined not to have him thinking I wore green because of our conversation, but it was all I could find! OY! So he just looked and laughed when we both showed up to church on Easter Sunday 2001 wearing green. And I still hadn't asked him what he'd said behind my folder...

Death and Resurrection: After church I went to a friend's Easter dinner party. After the party, my ex-fiancée (ya'll didn't know I had one? lol It's okay, most of my friends at that time didn't know he was an ex because we weren't public about our break-up...) called me upset about something. In our conversation, I recommended that he pray about what was bothering him because I had no way to answer his concerns. But he replied "prayer don't work." I was shattered!!! Shattered, I tell you!! Surely we weren't meant to be together if he believed that! So, when I got back to campus, I took a walk with a good friend. He told me, in a way only good friends can, that already I knew what I needed to do. I was starting to get a hunch, but that option was scary... Very scary...

More Conversation: As my friend and I were walking around talking, we walked into the C-Store in one of the dorm areas (Cate). By this point, I was also concerned that, after our conversation the previous night, Mike could possibly get the wrong impression about my interactions with him. So when we happened upon him in the C-Store, he (seeing the trouble on my face) asked me was I ok. Of course the polite answer is yes, but I told him I needed to talk to him. So he agreed to be available. I called him when I got back to my room, and we met outside my dorm (Walker) by the bike racks on the north side of the building. My opening line was along the lines of "I just wanted to be sure we were on the same page about the other night, because I have someone that I'm involved with." He reciprocated the sentiment, then we proceeded to talk some more...

Divine Command: Again, we happened upon a night spent talking: this time we started at the bike racks at about 9pm on that Easter Sunday night, 2001. Eventually we moved to the seating area in front of the Faculty-In-Residence wing of the dorm. And again, the topics ran the gamut of life, God, church, etc. But this time when the topic turned to marriage, we both seemed to get quieter... I was laying on the sofa and he was sitting on the table in front of it. As the third watch closed, God spoke to us SIMULTANEOUSLY. To Mike: Propose. To me: Say yes. I said "uh-uhn" and flipped over burying my face in the sofa. He simply got up and walked away.

His 6th Anniversary Present to Me

Trusting: When God spoke to me and said "Say 'yes'," it was a divine command that came packaged with the knowledge that I'd be saying yes to a proposal! I was so flabbergasted! He wanted me to say yes to a proposal from a virtual stranger!! We were in the middle of our second real conversation, I didn't know him! I lay there thinking "How...? What...? Ok, God." So I flipped back over, but he was gone! I panicked and got up, wondering if I'd scared him off, praying that I hadn't. As I started looking for him, I heard the piano in the other section of the lobby, so I knew he was over there. As I turned to head that way, he met me halfway on his way back to where we were sitting. We resumed our seats: this time I sat on the sofa, and he again sat on the table facing me... We sat in silence for a long moment. Then he asked "Do you trust God?" I nodded. "Do you trust me?" I nodded. "Will you marry me?" Big sigh... I nodded!

Engaged: Then we sat in stunned silence. We were engaged. To each other. Whom we barely knew. Just because God told us to do it. Oooooookay. So we moved on to our next task: set a date. As we started talking about it, I remembered a dream I'd had the previous semester: in it I was on a game show titled "When Will Nzinga Get Married?" After I told him about my dream, we settled on a date: August 11, 2001. Then we had to announce it...

New Beginnings: After about a week of me calling his dorm and leaving voicemail messages that said only "whoa... whoa..." We decided it was finally time to tell our family. His sister guessed immediately when he called her. A friend of his guessed it when we showed up at a fraternity's line show in front of Dale Hall. But there were still phone calls to make to our other family and friends. Not many took the news well: there were some harsh words questioning our sanity, my desperation, his gullibility, or whether I was pregnant. Many of my friends were shell-shocked that I was no longer with my ex, let alone marrying some stranger. Others simply asked if we were sure, then offered their support when we assured them that we were. And then we told the church: after service, he got up during the "praise report" section and simply said, "Me and Z are getting married." The church erupted in shocked praise! A few days later, he had a dream that we'd fight some type of opposition for every week of our engagement: 16 demons. We did, and even up until the minutes before our wedding there was opposition, but we knew we'd heard God clearly and distinctly. And so, MikeNz began. 😊

Our Wedding Day

Epilogue: I forgot to tell ya'll about when I finally got up the nerve to ask him what he'd said behind the folder: it was years or months after we got married! LOL I'm a chicken sometimes. And what he'd said (behind MY folder, in MY room, while sitting on MY bed)? "I'm gonna marry her." 😁 Or something like that...

Post Script... In talking with a friend, I realized I'd neglected to point out one significant detail of the story for ya'll. I believe I mentioned that it was my second year at OU, his first, but I know I didn't explicitly mention our ages. At the time when the majority of those events took place, he was 18 and I was 19! We were married a week after he turned 19, and a month after I turned 20. Easter, signifies the (approximate) anniversary of our engagement, and begins the countdown to our wedding anniversary on August 11th.

FACEBOOK NOTE: https://www.facebook.com/notes/10109580744637837/